masturbation
masturbation
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Masturbation dates back tens of thousands of years, right back to the when humans were living in caves.

Today there are of course dozens of methods of self pleasure (dildos, vibrators, manual to name a few).

But 28,000 years ago things weren’t so easy.

In honour of International Masturbation Month (May!), here’s a look at the history of self-pleasure, sex toys and, well, sex itself.

 

From erotic literature and art, to buzzing new inventions, it seems when our ancestors had some time on their hands they knew what needed to be done.

1. 18th century Scottish men got together for a group w***ing club

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The Beggar’s Benison met to eat, drink, talk about sex and masturbate together.

Their initiation ceremony included men putting their erect penises against one anothers’ on a plate, covered with a napkin.

2. The ancient Greeks masturbated with bread sticks

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Greek women baked hard bread sticks called olisbokollikes and used them as dildos.

They also used olive oil as lube.

3. Pharaohs masturbated into the Nile

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Ancient Egyptians believed the god Atum created the universe by masturbating to ejaculation, and that the ebb and flow of the Nile corresponded to how much he came.

To honour this, the pharaohs ceremonially masturbated into the river, according to O: The Intimate History Of The Orgasm by Johnathan Margolis.

4. The oldest dildo was found in Germany

SCHELKLINGEN, Germany: Archaeologist Petra Kieselbach of Germany holds a 28,000 years old stone phallus which has been discovered in a cave in Baden-Wuertemberg in southern Germany, during a press conference in Schelklingen 25 July 2005. In assembling 14 stone fragments, found last year in the Hohle Fels cave, archeologists rebuilt the phallus, which is 20 centimeters (eight inches) long and three centimeters wide. AFP PHOTO DDP/MICHAEL LATZ GERMANY OUT (Photo credit should read MICHAEL LATZ/AFP/Getty Images)
They never found these on Time Team (Picture: AFP/Getty)

Made of silt stone, this is 28,000 years old phallus was found in the Hohle Fels Cave, Ulm.

It’s 20cm long and 3cm wide.

5. This guy introduced dildos to England

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The first use of the word dildo in English appears in The Choise Of Valentines Or The Merie Ballad Of Nash His Dildo, by 16th Century poet Thomas Nashe (pictured).

It is about a man’s first sexual encounter in a brothel and features a glass dildo.

6. The first electric vibrator was called Granville’s Hammer

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In 1883 Dr Joseph Mortimer Granville came up with an invention to relieve muscle tension in men and women.

It worked better on women.

7. Romans masturbated with their left hands

Masturbation Month 2016: History of sex toys, masturbation and sex

Ancient Pompeii graffiti read ‘when my worries oppress by body, with my left hand, I release my pent up fluids.’

And Ovid, Pliny, and others, used the left hand as a metaphor for masturbation.

8. Porn’s nothing new

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HOT! (Picture: AFP/Getty)

Cave porn in Arnhem Land, Australia, dates back 28,000 years.

There’s also rude scenes created 30,000 years ago at France’s Chauvet caves and 40,000 years old in northern Spain.

9. A robber held up a bank with his girlfriend’s rampant rabbit

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In 2006, Nicki Jex made away with £600 after convincing staff at Ladbrokes that the sex toy, wrapped in a plastic bag, was a gun.

He was sentenced to five years behind bars.

10. It’s illegal to sell sex toys in Alabama

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You can’t buy ‘obscene devices’ in this US state and it’s not just some dusty old law no one pays any attention to either.

The 1998 Anti-Obscenity Enforcement Act criminalises the sale of sex toys and the last challenge to it, in 2009, was defeated.

Read more: http://metro.co.uk/2016/05/04/masturbation-month-2016-history-of-sex-toys-masturbation-and-sex-5848214/#ixzz47ljB5A1X

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