by After your father’s burial, you started having this irrevocable desire to go to church; maybe because your father’s pastor and his church members were giving awesome testimonies about him. You never knew he was that good.
Anty Ojela said she was very surprised because it wasn’t only church members that shared testimonies. Even neighbours and waka-pass have tasted of your dad’s goodness but you wondered why you hardly saw any of it.
“Your father was paying people’s school fees and even buying them food. He will make heaven, his service to God and humanity will speak for him”. She said enthusiastically as she tried to console you. You were sad, you weren’t sure whether to believe Anty Ojela or not. She was overly religious and would say anything to make you feel God is in control, but somehow you felt a surge of joy in your heart. They said your father will make heaven.
_
On wednesday you decided to attend mid-week service in your former church so you can start working for the lord like your father and so that when you die people will give testimonies about you.
You spoke in tongues and cried in prayer but you left the church feeling like a hypocrite.
_
On thursday morning, your house mates Kennedy Ogah de illuminaterati and .
Michael Akpoveta de goski, decided to give their life to christ. They awoke the entire lodge that morning with the smell of weed and chanting of psalms.
“Today we are going to read psalms 98. I wan change my life, I dream say rapture come and I no reach cloud 9.” Michael announced as he flipped through his bible.
You tried hard to swallow your laughter. You locked your door, dusted your slippers and left.
“Sister Fatima you need to repent. Jesus loves you” Kennedy said to you as you approached the gate.
You smiled, waved him and left. He shouted something as you stepped out of the gate but he was the least of your worries. You did not bother to hear again.
_
You didn’t go back to your lodge that day. You slept at your boy friend’s house in millionaire’s quarters. You guys had a misunderstanding and he beat you blue black. He tried to force you to have sex with him after beating you so you slept in front of his gate and left for your lodge early the next day.
_
*****
Everyone sat in front of their rooms with straight faces. Jennifer was crying, Tabitha was consoling her while crying too.
Kennedy had died. He got run over by a bus on his way to church on that thursday evening. You too sat in front your room too and began to cry.
The event of the previous morning played in your head and each time you looked at Michael’s face, you remembered psalm 98.
_
_
Today is sunday. You did not go to church. You are scared God will chase you away.
You think of Kennedy and wonder if he is in heaven or not. If he truly repented or if psalm 98 will speak for him.
You wonder if eternity really exists and if going to church will at least save your ass from hell. You ask yourself to what end all the struggle to be, do and have is.
You hear Kennedy’s voice loud in your head “Sister Fatima, you need to repent. Jesus loves you”.
You feel suddenly breakable and you begin to cry.
The world is futile.
SUNSET AT NOON2